I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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