Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
