"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
