I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
