So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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