O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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