When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
