She said her name was "party"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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