Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
