Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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