do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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