so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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