you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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