i think my tv is drunk
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
