yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have already put on my inside pants.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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