There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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