So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
