i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
