Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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