just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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