I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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