you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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