well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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