every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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