I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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