Don't you send me to vm
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
