Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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