He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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