if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
