OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
