I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
