i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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