Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
vagina is talking i cant
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
