Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
