white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
