just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
