It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
