You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
