I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
