I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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