the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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