If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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