I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
