it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
