Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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