That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
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If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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