please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize