i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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