i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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