Your face is a jimmy john
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
