Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i believe in u and ur pee
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
