party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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