I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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