He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
