i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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