then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
