I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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