i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
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redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess