I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here