playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
