How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
