im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
