Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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