i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
