I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
