i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
