so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
